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Why so many people are scared to death of their feelings.
“Men and women shouldn’t spend time together because they might get feelings.” “I don’t want my partner talking to an ex, what if they still have feelings?” “Oh, no, you shouldn’t do friends with benefits, because someone will get feelings.” “I work in an office, and I’m afraid I’m getting feelings for my coworker.”
Oh no! Feelings! Someone call the National Guard! Feelings!
I totally get how powerful our emotions feel. They can blow us away. I know what it’s like to be caught in an emotional maelstrom and have that irrational part of me be OMG absolutely convinced that OMG this is the most important thing ever and OMG OMG OMG.
But here’s the thing: Feelings can’t make you do anything you don’t choose to do. Feelings do not control your life. Feelings are that creepy guy in the Lord of the Rings whispering into King Théoden’s ear telling him he can’t do anything. You’re still the king.
You can have feelings for someone and still choose not to date them or shag them. You can have feelings and still choose to honor your commitments. Feelings don’t have to be in the driver’s seat of your life. There is no reason to live in fear of your emotions. They are a part of you, but they have no power you don’t give them.
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